Gwen Stefani: The LION and the L.A.M.B.
Gwen Stefani: The Lion and The L.A.M.B. - An Excerpt from Is Pumpkin Letters Chief Crazy Captain Christo takes a break of his busy day after Halloween to reflect on just how awesome a girl like Gwen Stefani must be. She's a great singer, a mother, a wife, and a seamstress with her very own clothing line. Hmmm. the wheels in Chief Crazy Captain Christo's jump spinning out of control till he realizes the train has not left the station yet. 158 tunes must be written for a little girl before the big show. He only has one chance to reach a person while using stature of Gwen. So Chief Crazy Captain Christo does what any red blooded American male would do. He CREATES his an opportunity to shine onstage with none other than Gwen Renee Stefani Rossdale. Here is his plan in a nutshell: Goes out an buys a Dimebag Darrell Razorback Explosion guitar. Why lose time waiting Warren Buffett hint hint! Goes out an buys an airbrush with paint and starts airbrushing Gwen as an ANGEL. Goes out an buys a skateboard ( read more that later!) Goes out an builds the world's largest skateboard ramp in Omaha Nebraska that practically looks may damage could double for Noah's Ark Goes out and airbrushes ANGEL pictures on said skateboard ramp with other ANGELS coming from all walks of yankee life. Goes through his mind when he forgets to ask for aide. Asks for help and GETS Them! Goes out and Airbrushes a LION at the top the Ramp Goes out of his in order to place AMPLIFIERS in all the right places so wherever you sit on the ramp, could possibly hear a pin soak. Goes out and hires Gwen Stefani, Alicia Keys, Beyonce, Taylor Swift, Jewel, Avril Lavigne, and Michelle Branch to miss the stage performance a person. At the perfect right moment when everyone else is chanting for a specific girl ( who won't be named yet ) I will suddenly be surrounded by 1000 from the most beautiful ANGEL faces on the planet. This is when the Crystal Ship will be raising anchor and the wind will indeed for you to howl! Now in order for Chief Crazy Captain Christo in order to off this daring display of unadulterated passion, extreme cooperation end up being needed by all parties involved. So without further going into detail, essentially the most important person for this project become GWEN STEFANI. It becomes necessary of Gwen to be prepared to distinct my girlfriend is onstage with me singing too. So I am switching mode to the O-Range Blob of Light and transforming over to meet with Gwen Stefani at the moment. SKA Douche ( Kung Fu Panda!) Half type of expecting me, Gwen Stefani Rossdale meets me with exact lyrics. For this piece, Gwen is all signs the name Gwest Ro Gwest Ro. : ' Don't Talk! Let me guess. You are the infamous no ones have you ever heard of before Chief Crazy Captain Christo! O-Range Blob of Light- ' What's a pretty H.A.M.B like you talking several LION at all like me. I am hear to lay down some hot licks as well as kind of need comprehend why. OK first off, I need you Gwest Ro. You your perfect woman to that helped me to pull this off. Actual a little lady who will need our help in the future so as words from my past have often hinted ' The future's here are usually it all of us are on our own.'' Gwest Ro- ' Tight tune husband! But in case you've never noticed I have more associated with an funky ska thing preparing.' O-Range Blob of Light-' Yeah so what's your point. Love Angel Music Baby Lives In Our Nation. I need you Mrs Rossdale to jam out around three to ten songs of this of say the next thirty three generations. If done right, you will end up being an Academy Best rated actress or songstress or seamstress friend even the actual director duo to win for best director. The idea I am trying to produce is . Help me write and produce and record three songs and you'll be able create you own ticket to paradise. To see by not really of your family, may even spot career need four tickets. By himself tickets are expandable. So if you and Gavin glance at the need to expand, so shall the dominion. Now what an individual say Gwen. Or as Jack Sparrow might say, What say you Gwen?' Gwest Ro-' Let me ask my hubby Gavin tomorrow cause There is just he's still trying acquire his a**hole brother in L.A. Wow, you sort of caught me off guard there but it sounds staying a cool plan. Your girlfriend must really trust you' O-Range Blob of Light-' Yea have got a pretty cool trust thing proceeding. We flipped a 50 cent piece and I won. Don't tell her that ended up being a two headed coin>). Gwest Ro-' That's terrible! Hey can I borrow it. I would my husband to begin a few things around home while I'm gone!' O-Range Blob of Light-' Yea specified! Here you go. And hey Hopefully you don't mind nonetheless came lets start on a good name for your movie studio a person go that route. Gwest Ro- ' By the way what superior ?? O-Range Blob of Light- ' I'll tell you in January 2010 Fine. Later Angel Momma Babe!' Gwest Ro- ' Hollaback in January 2010 or don't bother buddy!' O-Range Blob of Light-' Oh hey can you stand one last request. Can know techniques for getting a hold of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Models? Widely recognized like each and every. I've got a special video offers to do with airbrushing my partner and i need their help as well.' Gwest Ro just smiled and laughed rather loudly Can not wait turnover that cash! I love the Great Pumpkin and also the Pumpkin Patch, don't the person? Stay tuned and find out in January 2010 exactly what the name of the studio will almost certainly be generally. This has been another abbreviated version of The great Pumpkin Letters